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I spent the past six years of Easter weekends in South Bend or Chicago with adopted friends and family, so it was nice to be home. My mom created some amazing additions to the Ukrainian egg display, which reminded me of my 4-H demonstration when I was 10 years old, “How to Decorate a Ukrainian Egg.”

I’d decorated a Purple Ribbon winner egg or two in the past, but I waited until the night before the county fair to prepare my demo. It was not a pretty experience and should have been a sign to cancel the whole thing off. But the show went on. And what a show it was.

One of the decorating steps involves using a syringe to extract the yolk and egg white. And, that’s exactly when my demonstration began to crack. Literally. Sometimes you end up with a cracked eggshell and must start over, so I was prepared with extra eggs. Of course, the first one broke. And the second. And the third. At this age, my young mind was not yet filled with foul words, and I explained these mishaps by saying “Oh bummer,” “That happens,” and “I’ve got more.” I was so determined to get it right. Wouldn’t you know that the fourth egg shattered too? And the fifth! Damn eggs.

At this point, I must have thought the only way to salvage a demonstration gone awry is to turn it into a comedy show. I may or may not have sabotaged my demo by squeezing the hell out of the sixth and last egg. Just for fun. I don’t remember exactly, but I do remember that The Show Must Go On! It was then, my dear readers, that I finished my demo with an imaginary egg. Can you even imagine?

When the results came in, I learned I’d received a Yellow ribbon. In 4-H, that’s a courtesy ribbon. It means “Thanks for trying” or “Better luck next time.”

And that’s the story of the time I got egg on my face.

Grandma C.Grandma P., Grandpa P. and Mom